I don't really know what to write about necessarily, but I do know that when one does have a blog, one should most likely keep it up to date. Even, I am not really sure of mine. shuuhhh.. :)
I've been on duty for the past couple weeks opening up for My New Pray.
It's been incredible, but the only thing I am feeling right now, with a 20 years old 1 month and about 6 hours, is exhaustion of much thing I haven’t got. As many of you may have check in this blog, frankly, I am choosing to leave my writing personal activities for a while and do my own other personal thing though.
I don't know how long "a while" might be. It could mean forever...or not. But I know that I always have to write and pour down my entire mind, whenever I want it, whether it's on stage, in the class, or just writing freaking things in my freaking boarding house, Imagining what I should be 5 years later, 10 years later wearing a formal suit on my own job. Yes, Becoming a teacher.
I can’t deny, a bunch of pretty awkward though appear in my mind.
How much will we get paid in my job? Is that enough over the span of days to pay for gas and food?. Some people may though that becoming a teacher is not a pretty good way to earn much money. I have to fly abroad.... if we pay for those plane flights and shipping gear out, will I break even after the study or be in the red? I have no much. What about the “much”? How long should I spent? Can I afford to take out a personal lux vehicle? Can I afford a good wife with a good environment and children? Are you sure it's okay with the idea of a loan? What about “no”? Sure, I should make it up, as long as it's not too rough. … and the list goes on and on.
What?, Why?, How?, ...
Don't get me wrong, the list of signs questions up there would have to happen at some point of my dream, but not right away. There was no screaming with excitement. What the hell was wrong with me?
It kinds of remind me of dating in a weird way.
When I would go on dates or meet girls when I was younger, say 17 or 18, all I would ask my friend is:
"Does she have pretty eyes? Does she mature already? Oh really!? She's a student! Cute! Does she dress well?"
Now, if someone were to set me up I would ask:
Is she affectively stable? A ladies? Does she cook by herself? What religion is she? Is he honest and respectable? Ambitious? Does she want kids? How many? Is she organized and clean?
How our perspectives can change. (Ok, ok. So maybe that was a weird metaphor). Anyway, the truth is, I love my life now with my friends. I watch them facing their life every day. I've learned so much from them. I'm so happy we took this opportunity. I'm screaming about it now to make up for the loss of screams I had earlier.
oh ya.. I think back sometimes to my first favorite musicians, and a couple of songs.. that perhaps you would never know.. and, it seems that i miss them so much.. 911, Will Young, The Corrs, Michael Bubble, Ultra, Nsync, Gareth Gates, et al...